Hey there, rapper.

Just the other day I was wondering: Who's the best rapper? Who's the best MC? I think most people want to know.

I know your sense of modesty prevents you from bragging, but maybe you could tell us just a little bit about yourself?

Why not write a song to explain how good you are at certain things?

For example, you could tell us how often you have sex, and how long you are able to continue having sex. If you have no problems finding women, you should mention that as well.

Other general topics you could cover include:

• How much money do you have?
• Are you able to afford fancy cars and gold chains?
• How loud is your car audio equipment?
• When you write a new song, how confident are you that it will reach number 1? Will you be replacing other artists' songs?
• How many CDs have you sold?
• Do you enjoy marijuana? What about alcohol? How often do you use these substances?
• Do you own a gun? Are you afraid to use it? Are you afraid of going to prison?
• When you engage in physical combat, how sure are you that you'll win?
• How well do you rock the microphone?

Think about how cool you'd be if you wrote a song which only contained this information about yourself. That would be entirely original.