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Please, Kansas, help me protect my marriage!

Please help me! My marriage is in deep peril! Every day that gay marriage is not officially banned is a day closer to the destruction of my wonderful wedded bliss!

In April, a gay marriage ban comes up on the ballot in Kansas. I only hope I can make it until then. Before that, I am in constant danger of marrying the next man I see.

You know how it is: One day you're a straight guy married to a beautiful woman, and the next day you're married to some skinny guy named Sven and living in the apartment above a gay bar.

It wasn't your fault. You didn't ask to be seduced into the gay life: nothing you could have done would have prevented such a tragedy.

Your only hope of avoiding this fate is to make it really really illegal. So please, Kansas citizens, help me protect my marriage from this horrific fate!




2005-2-27