Dumbass
The male privilege checklist
You might have seen this list floating around: The male privilege checklist. It attempts to show all the privileges that males in the western world have over females. Let's have a gander, shall we? Remember, you're supposed to read this as if you were one of these privileged males.1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
The truth of this one depends on many factors. Is there sexism in some workplaces? Of course. Is there sexism in every workplace? Of course not. I guess that's why the word "probably" is used. The liberal use of probability is a common theme in this list.
This item, however, does have the privilege of being one of the few valid instances of practical sexism or "male privilege" on this list. I'll mark these rare gems with a shiny CheckMark:
2. I can be confident that my coworkers won't think I got my job because of my sex - even though that might be true.
I have several female coworkers, and I don't think any of them got their jobs because of their sex. Neither do any of the other males I work with. Who is it that thinks women get their jobs because of their sex? Who are you talking about? And why do you care what they think?
This illustrates the problem with most of the items on this list: it counts as a "male privilege" the vague sentiments of some people, somewhere. These "people" may or may not have any say in the matter, all that is required is they have a vaguely negative view of one or more women in some situations.
From now on, whenever the vague, negative reactions of an unspecified group are listed as a "male privilege", I'll mark it with a WeepyFace
. It's not pleasant, it's not nice, it's probably sexism, but it does not constitute a privilege for men when some people have dumb opinions about women.3. If I am never promoted, it's not because of my sex.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome The Amazing Kreskin! Able to divine the Real Reason a particular woman was not promoted! Also able to know that no man is ever passed over for a lesser-skilled woman!
However, there was/is a lot of sexual discrimination against women in the workplace, so this gets a
4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won't be seen as a black mark against my entire sex's capabilities.
Who thinks this? Who sees a woman being fired and puts a "black mark" on all women? Southern Preachers? 1950s TV dads? Creepy guys at the gym? Villains in Lifetime Channel movies? Who?! And should you really care what those people think?
5. The odds of my encountering sexual harassment on the job are so low as to be negligible.
Though you have to be careful of the definition of "sexual harassment".6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.
"Chances are"?... it might as well say "answer hazy, ask again later". And who are these "people"?
And from now on, all the weaselly "chances are"s and "probably"s etcetera will receive a BlobOfGoo:
7. If I'm a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are so low as to be negligible.
But please note all the qualifiers: That means male children are raped, and males are raped in prison.8. I am not taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces.
Yeah. In 1953. In Mayberry. This just plain wrong. I'll give it a BigFatX:
9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.
Called into question by whom?
And this brings up another very interesting issue regarding
When these items talk about what other people think, what is the sex of these other people? Is it only males? Or are 50% (or more) of these unspecified other people women? "On average" (meaning "stereotypically"), it is women more than men who put a woman down for choices they make regarding children. Is it a "male privilege" when women put down other women?10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.
This could easily be reversed and phrased as: "If I have children but do not provide the main financial resources for them, my masculinity will be called into question."
11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I'm even marginally competent.
Single mothers don't get undeserved praise? Where are you from?12. If I have children and pursue a career, no one will think I'm selfish for not staying at home.
And you are both being selfish if one of you doesn't stay home.13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.
Haven't you heard of the various "nannygates"?
"The press"?
14. Chances are my elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more likely this is to be true.
Women vote for male candidates too. I vote for female candidates when I hate them less than the men they're running against. There's more women than men in the country, and they can vote for (or write in) women. Why don't they? Is it because women, like men, are not a monolithic block?
It's still a
but start running for office already.
15. I can be somewhat sure that if I ask to see "the person in charge," I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.
I can be "somewhat sure" that this one reeks of vaguery and it is really just a rephrasing of #3.But still:
16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters.
As a child, I was touched by my uncle Ned.
17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children's media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male heroes were the default.
Non-stereotyped? Ever hear of GI Joe? Male heroes are stereotyped (they never show emotions, or can control them superbly; they look as if they spend 5 hours a day in the gym and eat nothing but protein bars; etc), and men in general are always portrayed as stereotypes as well (they are the villains, they rape, they steal, they riot, they are indiscriminately promiscuous, they hopelessly clueless about relationships, etc, etc, etc).
18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often.
Maybe
Maybe
Definitely
19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.
What this says is you can apply revisionist history and make any negative occurrence into an instance of sexism if you want to. The guy at the supermarket butted in line in front of you because he wants to demonstrate the inferiority of women. I was passed over for that promotion because God hates women. A male can certainly do this same thing. This one isn't even capable of being right or wrong.20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented, every day, without exception.
And what country are you in where you don't see women on TV everyday? Saudi Arabia?
21. If I'm careless with my financial affairs it won't be attributed to my sex.
and
... Everyone "knows" young males are impulsive and irresponsible with their cash.22. If I'm careless with my driving it won't be attributed to my sex.
And in a lot of cases
23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
Just a refresher: items marked with a
might indeed happen and happen quite a lot, but without specifying why you should care what the verdict of the "trial" is, it gets a
24. If I have sex with a lot of people, it won't make me an object of contempt or derision.
and
. A promiscuous man is only cool to those dipshits who drive "tricked out" Honda Civics and 1970s muscle cars.25. There are value-neutral clothing choices available to me; it is possible for me to choose clothing that doesn't send any particular message to the world.
Who are you kidding? All clothing on all people sends a "particular message to the world."
26. My wardrobe and grooming are relatively cheap and consume little time.
Man, I hate it when my mom makes me dress up. You choosing to dress up in bondage gear and put on face spackle does not a male privilege make. If you don't like it, don't do it. If other people have problems with that, so what?
If all women stopped putting on makeup and shaving 3/4 of their bodies, in just a few years that is what men would find normal and attractive.
27. If I buy a new car, chances are I'll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car.
and
The car salesmen look for people who don't know any better and price accordingly, even if you're a man. If you don't know any better, that is your fault.(Yes, I'm aware of the Harvard study: replicate it and this item will be changed.)
28. If I'm not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
It's a
, but looks are very important in this country no matter what your sex. "In general" and "chances are" politicians, business leaders, etc who are better looking do better and are more popular. And women (in general) are just as hung up on looks as men (in general).29. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
If I'm loud I am quite rightly called a blowhard. If I'm aggressive I am quite rightly called an asshole.
and
30. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called "crime" and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called "domestic violence" or "acquaintance rape," and is seen as a special interest issue.)
This has historically been a
, but if you are beaten up (not in self defense), isn't that against the law, in every state, county, and city, no matter who the beater is?
if you have some additional information in this area that might make it a definite
or definite
31. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. "All men are created equal," mailman, chairman, freshman, he.
Oh boo hoo. You are forced to say mailman because of the history of the English language. Can a non-Catholic get sympathy because she lives in Saint Louis? Can an atheist get sympathy because people say "bless you" when he sneezes? It's almost a
, but far too whiny.32. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
So one time you were being entirely unrealistic and emotional and somebody asked you if you were "on the rag". Get over it.33. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don't change my name.
I offered to change my name, and said there was no need for her to change hers. She chose to change her name because she wanted to. If your future spouse insists on this and you don't want to, why are you marrying him? It really is that simple.34. The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
This one's just made up.
35. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is usually pictured as being male.
Religion also says the world is 6000 years old, the stars are holes in the sky, and the sun is a chariot with flaming wheels. Religion being stupid is not a male privilege.
36. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
Most major religions are crap. If you disagree with the religion, dump it. If you choose to stick with it, quit complaining.
37. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we'll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks.
I cook. We clean. We do laundry (her more than me). I cut the grass and do the heavy lifting. She does the finances and provides the booty. etc. Get out of the 1950s already. A woman deciding to stick with a loser man is not a male privilege.Now, let's play a little game with "chances are".
Chances are... the woman does not cut the grass, rake leaves, or shovel snow.
Chances are... the man does all the heavy lifting.
Chances are... the woman does not take out the trash.
Chances are... the man is physically stronger.
Chances are... the woman is worse at spatial relationships.
Chances are... the man does not lose all rationality when an infant is near.
Chances are... the woman does not do the fixing of things and changing of light bulbs.
Chances are... the man does not have a shoe fetish.
Chances are... the woman buys unnecessarily expensive clothing.
Chances are... the man is not fascinated by shiny jewelry.
Now, I know most of you probably personally know of hundreds of exceptions to these, but you see, "chances are" they are correct, "on average." The best part is, I don't even have to prove that these actually are statistical likelihoods, I can just use the preexisting stereotypes.
38. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she'll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing.
If your spouse won't change the diapers, why are you having children with him? Dump him.39. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we'll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.
Wait a minute: "we'll both assume"? Why are you assuming that, and why is that assumption on your part a male privilege? Plus, the man probably can't lactate nearly as well.40. Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media are filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are much rarer.
And women posed for those pictures. They are exploiting men. Wah.
If you want scantily-clad men on TV, billboards, movies etc, ask for them. Pay for them. The advertisers will gladly sell you any images you want. Hey, send me 20 bucks and I'll send you naked pictures of me. High resolution pics too, not those grainy images you see all over the place. And I'm hot.
41. I am not expected to spend my entire life 20-40 pounds underweight.
Expected by whom? If you buy those magazines then yes, they expect you to be 20-40 pounds underweight. You know the magazines I'm talking about, right? Those insidious skin rags in the checkout lanes written exclusively for men like Vogue and Cosmo.
Sorry, women accepting and promoting an unrealistic body shape is not a male privilege.
42. If I am heterosexual, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.
Bullshit (I mean
). Many men are on the receiving end of domestic violence. And why limit it to heterosexuals? Homosexuals aren't males? That doesn't seem like a very progressive view.Oh, and
43. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to "smile."
Those bastards! Wait, who cares!?
44. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.
On average, women talk more than men. On average, women leave the toilet seat down more than men. On average, sentences starting with "on average" are full of donkey shit.
45. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
And I have the privilege of saying "Fuck you."
At this point in the list, men are supposed to say: "Huh, us men do have it pretty good, and at the expense of those poor women" and then we all have a good cry and vow to make the world a better place.
The most idiotic thing about this list is that it promotes the very thing it pretends to expose: sexism. Men are not people, they are Men. Women are not people, they are Victims Of Men. By treating people merely as members of a gender, you are being a sexist pig, period.
People are individuals, not "averages" or "chances" or a gender. If other individuals (who may, in fact, be women themselves) have a dumbass opinion about "women", who the hell cares? It is a "male privilege" only if it means something; if it has financial, physical, or legal consequences. It's only when you have to care that it matters.
If you can't get a job, that's a problem. If you miss out on promotions, that's a problem. If you are told "put out or get fired", that's a problem. If there are different legal standards for women, that's a problem. If Ol' Joe down the street thinks "women" should stay home with the kids, who cares? Are you that fragile?
If this list consisted only of the
items, it would be a fine list. Even if you included some of the other items in a "too many people have sexist views" list it would be ok. But by combining the strong items (rape, sexual discrimiation in the workplace, etc) with the weak ones (marriage name changes, husband won't wash the clothes, etc), you weaken the real instances of sexism and infantilize women at the same time.Sorry, you are not helping "the cause" by pushing these whine lists.
I believe this is the original source for this list.
2005-11-20
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